April 2008                       

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

I received the following email recently.  It speaks to a question that often arises in each of our lives. To do or not to do?  To surrender or to press on?

Hi Carol,
 I'm sure that it's no co-incidence that I found your Web site when I was searching for past life regression information.  I am from India, and my birth date is 07-07-76. I am at a major turning point in my life right now, where I'm dealing with a very difficult relationship.  I have a lot of emotional pain on the outside, and a lot of calm and peace and inner growth on the inside.

I am stuck between two distinct choices in life.  The first choice is to surrender to whatever is happening.  (I have been trying to do quite a bit of letting go for the past four years.  I left my job; worked on my ego; listened.)  The second choice is to get into the mode of action.  Instead of surrendering to the flow, should I start taking things into my own hands—like moving on, and choosing things for my financial and emotional independence.
 
What would be your advice?  Do I let go and sit back, or do I rebel and move on, in spite of the circumstances?
B.

Dear Two Choices,
Since you furnished your birth date, let’s start with a numerological examination.  Your Birth Path (total of 7+7+1+9+7+6) is a 19/1.  Nineteen is one of the “karmic” numbers. Nineteen sometimes seems to indicates a past life pattern where you suffered for not adhering to the dominant cultural beliefs at the time.  Since the root total is One, you have a strong, independent nature, which is perfectly capable of functioning in the face of challenges.  You always want to do the right thing, but find it hard to know what that is! 

In any case, I think it’s important not to put things into black and white thinking—either surrender or force.  The tendency to mull things over in order to find the one right way to do something (you have the analytical number Seven occurring three times in your birthday, for example) could be a familiar theme. Your first Challenge number is zero—indicating that you are what we call an Old Soul.  This zero Challenge could mean that you have a great deal of freedom to make your own choices according to what feels right. 

Your Goal number (7 month added to 7 day of birth) is a 14/5—another karmic number suggesting that freedom to explore the world and adapt (or rebel) to change is paramount.  In addition, your first Pinnacle is also 14/5 until age thirty-five, so this theme of using  freedom constructively is very strong.  I’m wondering if you have had past religious lives where you were either overly rule- bound or a rebel.  This lifetime seems to be more about developing self-sufficiency and independence, so your question about taking strides in that direction is not surprising.  You did not elaborate on the specifics of your decisions, but my sense it’s always appropriate to take measures to be fully financially independent and self-sufficient.  However, I sense a bit of a rebellious tone to your question which makes me think you are resisting something, rather than moving forward with a clear mind.

Your interpretation of the relationship breakup is causing you emotional pain.  In the bigger scheme of things, however, I’d say you could choose to see the other person as a teacher.  What does your intuition say about this person?  Is he or she a teacher who shows you similarities within yourself?  Could he be a teacher who may be helping you break a karmic pattern? 

According to your numerological 5 Pinnacle, your life may tend to be up and down in dramatic episodes until age thirty-five.  Nothing is holding you back.  Looking ahead for the next ten or twelve years, between the ages of thirty-six and forty-four you will be under a 3 Pinnacle with a 2 Challenge.  My guess is that you will find this a pleasant period where the emphasis is on creativity, partnership, compatible social life, and perhaps a couple of children! The key to success is developing good listening and communication skills (dropping the drama.)

If indeed, you did have significant religious lives, this life seems to offer secular joys and accomplishments.  With all your Sevens, you are deeply intuitive, so trust that voice!

The question about surrender and action that you bring to our attention is always present in life.  Of course, each of us must look at our own individual situation.  It’s human nature to want change.  But change just brings more desire for the next thing.

In my own case, I am a very impatient person.  When I have an idea I am perfectly ready to forge ahead and start activating something right away.  However, I have had to learn repeatedly that sheer motivation is only one part of the process.  Timing is also essential. Knowing when to take action is an art—one that is perfected through trial and error over a lifetime.

I remember one love affair years ago where I was perfectly ready to charge ahead full steam.  I made myself crazy wanting more time with this guy, wondering where things “were going” and visualizing a complete life with him in my head.  Unfortunately for me, he had another relationship that got re-energized unbeknownst to me, and that put an abrupt end to all my plans.  I had to let it go and move on. 

Timing also means giving yourself time to grieve and sort out what happened.  Each experience is there for a reason, and it’s important to take responsibility for the choices (based on faulty perceptions or fear) that we made.

Sometimes a situation—like a marriage or a career—demands perseverance, because the stakes are worth it.  In a long-term relationship, you owe it to yourself and the other person to take responsibility for whatever your part is in the conflict and try to work things out, if that’s possible.  In a career, it’s important to keep trying things until something works—if you truly feel this is a fit with your nature.  Otherwise, go where your heart is.

We surrender to the process of working things through, when we believe there is value there.  If, on the other hand, we are making ourselves crazy over something that is never going to work out, then why keep struggling and blaming?  Ultimately, it’s your life, and only you know what’s best for you.  “Surrendering,” is not giving up and feeling like a victim who has been harmed. Surrendering is learning to listen to what is being shown.  Surrender is returning to our inner center until action becomes clear. Personal power lies in receiving whatever comes our way without resistance.  We can become still without becoming dejected.  Emotions will come and go, but we practice coming back to our center.  We can even let go of the question. We take action and see where it takes us.

Happy April!
Carol Adrienne

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol@caroladrienne.com