Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.                         

October, 2007

How time flies!  Last  month, in September, I taught three classes at Discover U in Seattle, Washington.  The topics were How to Increase Synchronicity, Getting Past Fear to Make Changes, and Introduction to Passion and Life Purpose. A big thank you to all those who showed up and made the classes so much fun!

Below is a column I wrote after a similar retreat weekend in November 2000.  I thought I would share it with you this month, as it still captures the major points of these topics.

True Change or Workshop Fever? 

Do personal growth workshops really change us? Can we hope to learn and retain new perspectives that can alter our daily experience?  These questions often arise right after we have signed up for a retreat or workshop!  Perhaps our doubt is a natural cynicism born of too many promises and unmet expectations.  Also, common beliefs are that change takes time, that it’s hard for “old dogs to learn new tricks,” or that “workshop fever” wears off as soon as we head for the parking lot.

It so happens that Elmer Schettler, one of the participants of the October retreat [2000]  that I lead near Sedona, Arizona, took the time to email members of our group to find out how they were doing two weeks after the workshop.  I include some of their comments here, as a reminder that when we go inside and look for answers, we DO change.

[In the last few years, I have been told about other positive changes from most of these participants.  For example, Elmer moved to Colorado and is happily married. Paula is a published author and public speaker. Vanessa has moved and is happily involved in career and a relationship.  Patricia has made a positive career move to Monterey, California. Interestingly, in a “full-circle” kind of way, I had dinner two weeks ago in Seattle with Sharon—who moved there since the 2000 workshop and built her dream home.]

Tune in and Connect to your Mission

When we take the time to ponder what really matters to us, and realign our spirit with a brief touchstone statement or mission statement, we are able to feel again that connection to something larger than just ourselves.  In turn, that heightened sense of awareness communicates itself to our circle of friends and acquaintances.  Our lives do change, and keep changing as we stay in tune with our unfolding life purpose.
In the workshop, we explored the following ideas about how life purpose develops and calls to us:

•  Life purpose is in-born;  prior to birth our soul defined the general or specific life direction that would serve our purpose for the life.
•  Life purpose is found
  

--in what we pay attention to;

--in our natural gifts and talents;

--whenever we are engaged in an activity where we lose track of

    time;

--within the tasks of each stage of life (e.g.., teens and early twenties the developmental task is finding an identity.  In mid-life, our task involves fulfilling responsibilities, developing creativity, and putting ideas into form.  In later life, our task is to integrate our experiences, make meaning of life, mentor others, and give back.)

Other significant points we covered were:

• There are no accidents.  Everything happens for a reason.
• Anything is possible if we keep an open mind.
• We keep an open mind when we encounter both positive and “negative” life events with the Zen attitude, “Who knows if it’s good or if it’s bad?”
• The Law of Attraction brings people and opportunities to us that are in relation to how we feel about ourselves.
  

Turn Your Questions Into Affirmative Statements of What You Want

People in the workshop brought such questions as:  “How can I know what synchronicities mean?”  “What should I be doing next?”  “How do I know if my intuition is right?”  or “How can I keep a flow going?” 

Instead of asking what you should do, ask, What do I want?    Our objective in the seminar was to take our current life question and make it into a statement about the results we were looking for.  For example, if our question is “Should I move to Colorado or stay here?” what is prompting that thought?  What are we trying to get by moving to someplace like Colorado?  Do we want to be closer to nature?  To be able to hike and ski more?  Do we want a peaceful atmosphere?  Do we want to work at home? 

We must look for the values we are seeking to have, and we must be clear about how we want to feel once we have achieved success.   Therefore, to create an affirmative statement that will attract what we want, we can take our question and rephrase it.  “Should I move to Colorado?” becomes, perhaps (varying according to the individual)  “My new job is close to the mountains, and I have lots of time for outdoor activities.” Or “My surroundings contribute to a sense of peace and stimulate my creativity.”  Instead of struggling to second-guess outcomes, we set the tone for what we want to attract, and then follow any kinds of clues or synchronicities to move in that direction.

We Set the Tone of Our Lives with Our Thinking

Each of our group made up his or her own positive statement of purpose to use as a navigational touchstone in the coming days.  Here are some comments within the first two weeks:

Time to Read and Enjoy the Airport
Patricia, whose job is marketing a ski resort, created a statement of purpose about being in touch with the wonder and magic of life.  In an email to the group, she said,

My world of “abundance, receiving gifts of wonder and magic” started right when I missed my flight home by two minutes.  Having to spend ten hours in the Phoenix airport could put a “normal” person on edge.  I found it, however, an amazing place to be.  There were these kids working at a food court dancing, telling jokes, laughing and having a great time--rather atypical for minimum wage workers.  I was so moved I found the manager and told him what a great group of employees he had and that it truly made a difference in my life.

I also found time to read the entire book by Shirley Maclaine, The Camino.  It couldn’t have been a more perfect book to complete our weekend.  It is Maclaine’s personal account of her 500-mile spiritual pilgrimage on the Santiago de Compostela through northern Spain—a trek taken by the likes of Charlemagne and St. Francis of Assisi. 

Back at home, after contesting my severance package with my company, I just learned that I was refused an extension.  It still smarts, but I believe there’s a lesson in there somewhere.  Of course, now I can truly be free.”

Living Authentically and Letting Go of Control

Barbi, an extremely enthusiastic woman who works a second job just for the fun of being in retail fashion, wrote: 

My purpose to ‘live authentically’ is proving to be great fun.  I have noticed a shift in the energy around me…specifically certain ‘beings’ have disappeared.   I didn’t even have to say, ‘Go away!’  For me the gift in the retreat was the validation once again that with surrender all things are possible, and life becomes magic.

Getting in Tune with Oneself

Paula, who works for the department of corrections in Texas, wrote,

When I returned from Sedona, a close friend of mine, through synchronistic events had purchased the house of her dreams.  She asked that my husband and I ‘just move’ into her home, which I had envisioned as the house of my dreams!  I can only describe the retreat weekend as life changing.  People have commented that I physically LOOK different, relaxed and peaceful, and that my energy is calming.  What, me?  Calming?

Before the retreat my anxiety level was so high I couldn’t speak in public, and barely spoke in staff meetings.  After speaking in the retreat and feeling such supportive energy, and becoming in tune with myself, I was able to create and led an exercise (based on the ones we did) at a staff retreat.  LED IT!”

Increased Synchronicities of Right Time, Right People

Elmer, the soybean farmer from Iowa who started our email correspondence, said,

Since the workshop and my clear intent each morning to state my purpose of ‘Show up, be present, and let go of outcome’ amazing things have been happening.  People have been showing up in my life at the right time with the right-whatever-it-is that they bring.

Attracting Opportunities from Your Inner State of Being (How You Feel About Yourself)
    Vanessa, who owns a successful marketing and PR firm, wrote,

This past week I kept reminding myself of my purpose statement, ‘to greet each day with an open heart and realize my self value.’  If it has done nothing else it has certainly lifted my spirits.  I think it also allowed me to have a very nice first date with someone new last night!  I also read a book called, The Eagle and the Monk, and it contains a statement I have easily adopted as mine: ‘Your self value is the foundation of your life.’  Of course, this blends perfectly with my own purpose statement.

Fearlessness
Rebecca, at twenty-five the youngest member of our group, wrote,

My new man told me he absolutely loved this particular look I get in my eye when looking at him sometimes.  He said, ‘There is absolutely no fear.’  If you remember, my synchronicity word card at the end of the retreat was ‘fearless.’  I was so overwhelmed by joy, I cried.

Living in the Magik of Disovery
Sharon, an award-winning interior designer, wrote,

What I have noticed most after the weekend is that I am very clear on how I want my life to FEEL.  I had a fantastic and synchronistic weekend before the Sedona retreat, and then I had a flat three-day trip the following weekend.  I want to live in the magik—and I want all of my encounters to be rewarding and stimulating.  I am going to recommend the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It seems to fit the thought pattern that is floating amongst the group.  I also love the Zen master’s story in Carol’s book, The Purpose of Your Life, on page 248 that teaches us to have an open attitude by saying, ‘Who knows if it’s good or if it’s bad.’

Happy October!
Carol Adrienne

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at
Carol@caroladrienne.com

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Podcast Interviews
Listen to Carol’s radio interview,
    Sharing the Path as Mothers and Daughters, with host Cheryl McLaughlin on From Her Court Radio Show on BlogTalk Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fromhercourt           
Look for the show description in the right-hand column along with the BlogTalkRadio media button. Double-click on the play button.

Listen to Carol’s podcast interview
The Purpose of Your Life, with Dr. Lara-Honos-Webb
http://www.byoaudio.com/play/WBHPh147.  For other tapes and books, you might want to visit www.psychologypodcasts.net