May, 2007                          Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

    This month we look at the questions of two readers who emailed my advice/blog that speak to the difficulties of staying on our path.

The first question comes from Mary:

I'm a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. The problem is my husband isn't (he tolerates my belief,)  He is presently  undergoing great uncertainty at work after 32 years of loyalty to his company. He is very scared about his future.
 
How does Law of Attraction work if one partner tries to apply it, and the other doesn't believe in it and slips into depression?  I feel like I'm wasting my time as if his thoughts are canceling out mine.

Mary sent me the birth names for herself and her husband, MS, and their birth dates, which I used to analyze her question from a numerological point of view.

Dear Mary,
     First of all, Law of Attraction is.  We don’t try to apply it--it’s always in effect—like gravity.  Who we are and what we think about attracts to us people, situations, and things that match our energy.  Even when we think things are going wrong, everything is in perfect alignment.  No matter what is happening, we are grappling with exactly the issues that we came here to learn and experience. 

Years ago when I was married to my second husband, I, too, wanted to wake him up.  Oh, how I wanted to help him.  I wanted to help him grow his business and help him get organized.  The marriage fell apart for various reasons, but through owning the consequences of my choices and actions, I discovered a streak of co-dependence in myself.   I realized, then, how I could never change another person.  I learned that the best thing to do when you want to change someone else is to work on your own life--not selfishly, not with blame, but kindly and  responsibly. 

Yes, I know you love your husband and naturally, don’t want him to suffer or be disappointed.  However, his growth is his business, and he will “progress” or not as life presses upon him.

One Soul Marries another Soul for a Reason

    All marriages have a purpose to teach the two people what they need to develop in themselves.  For example, you and MS each has exactly the same Destiny-- number 11/2 (partnership.)  This indicates a shared path of learning through marriage.

The 11/2 also indicates an interest in metaphysics, which you have, but MS does not show at this time.  Interestingly, MS also has two more 11’s-- an 11/2 Day of Birth, a Birth Path 11/2. Your Heart’s Desire of 11/2 resonates to all of his 11/2’s, so I think you two could be considered Soul Mates.  Soul Mates have known each other in past lives and agreed to be together again to share experiences or learn something new this time.  Many Soul Mates have intense relationships—not at all like the movie version of starry-eyed romantic illusion.  So I assure you that while MS may not appear to be living up to your standards of metaphysical understanding, he is engaged in life with you as a partner—and you with him—for a reason.

Life Lessons Appear to Open Our Mind and Heart

    One of MS’s life lessons is to be positive, to express himself clearly and to use his sense of humor (karma in 3.) The other is to develop faith and trust in his intuitive connection to a spiritual guidance  (karma in 7.)  With the chosen life theme indicated by the lack of 7, it’s completely natural that he may not see the logic or evidence of Law of Attraction until some major shift happens to him.  You mention that he tolerates your belief in Law of Attraction—which means he’s probably waiting to see what happens to you.  Knowing his numbers and a little bit of his life path, how could we expect him to act differently?  His Soul is attracting situations that one day may open his mind to many new things.

What We Focus on Expands

    Law of Attraction says that what we think about comes into our life.  It sounds as if MS has focused on security for a long time, but recent frustrations have created cracks in his confidence.  Frustration fosters fear. The way out is always through the problem, not around it. 

Other qualities in his numbers show him to be very gifted at times in the way he relates to people.  He is also adept at avoiding conflicts. With so many receptive 11/2’s in his name, he probably doesn’t like to compete for position.  With a 7 Heart’s Desire, he just wants people to see his worth in the work he does, and not have to start all over convincing others to hire him.  Putting himself “out there” to get new work is so unappealing, he has not attempted it in 32 years! True to the nature of all those 11/2’s, he prefers familiarity and staying in his comfort zone.  

MS is right on target now to be feeling uncertain, as things are definitely changing in this 5 Personal Year (5—unexpected changes.)  He’s facing a challenging time in his life.  From 2003 to 2011 he is in a 22/4 period (the Master Builder who builds his goals from the inside out,  through imagination and perseverance.)  Oddly enough, this life crisis may be just the thing to get him interested in spirituality and metaphysics!  If he decides to be open, curious, and pro-active, he could liberate himself from fear and self-doubt forever.

Tell the Truth

    No matter what happens, the key to success in the second half of life is his ability to get in touch with his feelings and re-connect with a new sense of who he is and where he is.  Once he is able to own that it is indeed time for a change, he must consider where he wants to go next, and then set new goals—if only to explore new options for a few months.  Personally, I think he will find another job in a good-sized company, if he desires.  Until June he should make a point of relaxing, enjoying some time off and casually net-working with friends or former co-workers. 

If he loses his job, I’d suggest he write out all his feelings about getting laid off for fifteen minutes every day for at least seven days.  This practice has been proven to help people attract a new job more easily than those who keep their feelings inside.  How? The theory is that writing clears out the unconscious and conscious resistance which get in the way of opportunity—negatives such as anger, resentment, fears, etc..  A clear(er) path allows Law of Attraction to send positive options. Once the emotions are cleared, then it’s time for him to make a written list of exactly what kind of job situation would be ideal for him (even if he doesn’t know what the actual job is.) 

The next step is to focus on what he wants, and trust that synchronicity (Law of Attraction in action) will start sending links to make that list a reality.

   Don’t worry that his thoughts are negating yours.  By focusing on the things you think are insufficient about him right now, you are actually draining energy from him at a spiritual level.  Instead, trust that he is a Great Soul and has his own path.  You can do your own visualizations, seeing the two of you happy in life together and go about creating your own joy.  Your ability to be happy and spontaneous is growing between now and January 2008.    At that time, you enter a very important time of spiritual focus and learning until January, 2011. 

[Response from Mary on May 2, 2007

The second question comes from Robin.

     My husband of less than 3 years wants to move our family (my two school age children and us) half way across the US without the security of jobs or even a place to live. He claims it is his life’s dream to live in Colorado.  This move will take me away from my two adult children, our only grandchild, and his two school age children that live with their mother.  Obviously I am not keen on this move. I am trying to resolve myself to be positive and supportive. I am finding it very hard. What would help me to better accept or prevent?

Dear Robin,
    This question may be better answered by a more cognitive/emotional approach, rather than  relying on the numbers in your chart.  However, in looking at your chart, let me say that you are in a 5 Personal Year (uncertainties and changes) and a 7 Essence (which could be re-stimulating your lack of trust in your intuition—which is one of your major lessons this lifetime.)  The priorities in your life from 2003 to 2011 are definitely marriage, responsibility, and family issues (your 6 Pinnacle). The path of harmony requires you to be firm and practical for the sake of all involved (this is your 4 Challenge.) 

This marriage is a catalyst for you—to help you get in touch with what you value the most—and for you to trust yourself despite the influences from others (such as your husband.)  Your current numbers of 6 and 4 are about establishing security and practicality by doing the responsible thing.  What do you see as the responsible thing to do (for you as the matriarch of the family)?

   From a practical point of view—if it doesn’t work out satisfactorily-- your husband’s decision to move without the reality of a job and place to live could jeopardize the lives and relationships you have to eight different children.  It is already placing a strain on your marriage by making you feel uncomfortable.  It’s one thing to follow a dream when you are one person, but he has chosen family responsibilities.
Given that you have only been married three years, this relationship is still in early days.  Obviously, the two of you must have already discussed the option of his going to Colorado ahead of the rest of the family to secure a base (job, place to live.)  I suggest that you make a list of the points you would need to have fulfilled before you would feel happy about changing your life so drastically.

[Response from Robin on May 2, 2007

Thank you so much for your answer.  We have not come to a decision as of yet.  I am going to share your column with my husband and I hope that he will begin to understand why I am so uncomfortable with moving.  You used one word in your answer that sums up my definition of myself, matriarch.  I was a single mom for a long time even before my first husband (my children’s father) and I divorced.  I was an official single mom for over 2 years before I married.  My husband, Ian, and I are very committed to our marriage.  We feel that God has given us a second chance.  I hope that he will listen to reason and understand that it is not a desire to stay rooted and a fear of adventure.

 We are currently discussing the options of him going alone to establish a residence and secure a job at least for him.  Again thank you for choosing my question.

Happy May, a truly wonderful month,
Carol Adrienne

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net

NOTE: Regarding email questions: Please send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.
Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com) or this column. All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

            Events 2007
Listen to Carol’s radio interview,
    Sharing the Path as Mothers and Daughters, with host Cheryl McLaughlin on From Her Court Radio Show on BlogTalk Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fromhercourt           
Look for the show description in the right-hand column along with the BlogTalkRadio media button. Double-click on the play button.

Listen to Carol’s podcast interview
The Purpose of Your Life, with Dr. Lara-Honos-Webb
http://www.byoaudio.com/play/WBHPh147.  For other tapes and books, you might want to visit www.psychologypodcasts.net
 
May 13-15     Big Sur, California, Esalen Institute, Weekend seminar; Sharing
the Path as Mothers and Daughters; with Carol and her daughter, yoga teacher, Sigrid Matthews.  Come alone or with your mother or daughter.  See how this primary relationship is affecting every aspect of your life from career choice, relationships, and personal growth. For details and to register please visit www.esalen.org.