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November, 2006 Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.
Dear Carol,
Since 2002, I have been raising two grandchildren alone on a disability income. Taking a leap of faith, I just achieved an MBA-HR degree, but with a huge debt. I started with a marketing focus, but a family business owner asked me to change. That position has now fallen through. I have little formal work experience, but some non-profit experience. I am scared. My question is how do I handle my FEAR? How can I not just cover my fear, but genuinely get through it? It is paralyzing.
As a child I was a battered, severely beaten, child. At age nine, I lost my beloved father, who was my protector. Yes, I have verbally forgiven my mother (who is still living), but am not close to my family.
How can I build up my own inner strength, and resolve to deal with my fear so I can pursue this much desired life change?
Nana
Dear Nana,
I am very impressed with your ability to take on the responsibility of raising two grandchildren on a small income, AND to gain an MBA advanced degree in your fifties. Not only that, but you have had to overcome severe setbacks as a battered child. In addition, I don’t detect a blaming attitude in your email.
May I point out that you ALREADY possess an undeniably large quotient of inner strength—which you may be minimizing as you search for your next career or job choice? You are fifty-three and still going strong.
Thanks for sending me your original birth name and birth date. A brief numerological analysis shows the following:
Numerological Expression of Your In-born Nature
Naturally Compassionate
Your nature has a strong bent for helping others (9 Birth Path), but your biggest lessons and achievements are all about gaining a strong sense of self (1 day of birth, 1 Destiny (from your birth name) and a 1 Ultimate Goal.
Credible and Persevering
You appear very credible to others (an 8 Personality) whenever you are engaged in problem-solving. Inside, however, your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, sometimes tends to make you a bit of a softy. You might re-think your ideas over and over, thus draining the focus of your goal-setting. To keep a balance, you might want to keep some spiritually-uplifting books by your bedside! I would expect you to well respond to light, beauty, self-help books, and good music.
Enjoys Collaboration
Because of your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, I think that you get much stronger in motivation when you have support and collaboration from a like-minded colleague, friend, or partner. However, with a 1 Destiny (with a focus on self-sufficiency,) you may seldom find these kind of people! Be careful not to feel like a lone crusader. Your Destiny of independence, integrity, and breaking new ground keeps giving you a new challenge to confront—but remember--you never have more than you can handle, when you really think about it.
Time for Material Success
In looking at your timing influences, I see that you have been in the powerful 8 energy since age forty-six. This means that your true direction right now involves business, management, and financial success—with the challenge and ability to make a good living.
I’m intrigued by your statement that a “family business owner” asked you to change your marketing focus, but that position fell through. It sounds like you have some feelings about this person who supposedly got you off track. Can you take another look at this event and see a greater purpose to it? What did you learn? Perhaps you learned that you need to trust yourself more than others who might not be as stable as you had wished. I don’t have the answer for you on that, but I’d say don’t make that event too momentous in nature.
No Excuses
In your numerology timing influences, I think the year 2005 was a turning point for you. Karmically, it gave you the challenge of trusting your intuition—turning within to look for the answers. Don’t let anything stop you from pursuing a new life as a business person or manager—and being the inspiration and support for those two grandchildren. They seem to be in your life for some time—perhaps until around 2016 when you are sixty-three. Currently, influences indicate that you might get some referrals to jobs from friends, or even some lucky breaks from part-time jobs that at first don’t look important.
Get Stable First
Your big question is how to handle fear. I’d say right now, you need to get stability in your life, rather than look for any grand answers. With your new degree, you might look for work in banking—even starting as a teller would provide a daily structure to help you manage or even eliminate that fear.
I remember a wonderful former client who changed careers from non-profit and wanted to do something in financial counseling. She was extremely fearful and unself-confident about her future. She had no experience and no sense of how she could get into the investment or financial planning field. She took an entry-level job as a teller in a bank, and kept making an intention to be shown another step towards her goal. At first she said that she hated selling, but was transferred to another department. She was very timid with customers who asked about financial products. Gradually, as her confidence grew, she found that a new side of herself developed. She began to love her work.
Seemingly miraculously, she discovered new openings at the bank for financial counseling, and is now extremely happy with her work. She was patient, waited for the right opportunities, and was willing to try new things. She even fell in love during this process, married and bought a house! Her story shows that we can start over no matter where we are in life. The past does not have to determine our future.
To Fortify Intention Create a Practice of Good Habits
To handle some of your outstanding debt, start putting a few dollars in an envelope every week—even out of your disability income. I know it sounds like a drop in the bucket, but the point of this practice is to give you a visible container for your intention to pay off your debts. Fear is handled when we experience small (even tiny) successes on a regular basis.
Create a Clear Intention of What You Want or Need
Make a list describing the kind of work atmosphere where you would feel strong and confident. Let friends know that you are willing to work, manage a business, or fill in somewhere part-time. At home, clean out cluttered areas of your house, or repaint a room. Discard clothes that you never wear. If they are old enough, get your grandchildren involved in small projects to improve their room or the outside areas.
Affirm Your Strength and Willingness
When fear thoughts come into your head, notice if they sound like the voices of the past (maybe your mother or other relatives.) Say to yourself, “I have handled far worse things than this temporary setback. I am willing to do whatever it takes to put my life back on course.”
Take Care of Health
Make sure you take care of your health by spending time outside, walking at least thirty minutes a day, or doing yoga stretches at home. Avoid being home alone for long stretches of time where you tend to feel isolated. Get out. Take a walk. Go to the library. Meet new people. Eventually, your life will be assisted by synchronicity and a little help from friends.
Much love,
Carol Adrienne
Happy November!
To Readers:
NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.
Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs. If they are selected, I will contact you. Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me. If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader. Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.
Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net
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