Each of us dreams of reaching a point at which we finally have it all together. Often we assume that today doesn't really count. It's just another day. But this day is an entire and beautiful gift, full of physical sensations and a range of emotional responses-from joy to upset or even grief. Each day we receive information about who we are and why we are here-if we choose to become conscious of the messages or synchronicities.

Most of us think that we have to work hard to find the big, definitive Life Purpose so that then, and only then, we can be happy. The truth is that each day, each moment is the only time you have in which to feel authentic, fulfilled, and even joyful. There's no waiting to find purpose.

Your life purpose was chosen before birth. This inborn organizing force silently attracts people and information directly related to what you need to know in order to make immediate choices. For example, has someone recommended a book to you this week? Why do you think this book was brought to your attention? Where might it fit into what you are working on now? Has someone mentioned any other resource? Be sure to follow up on things that come into your life when you are searching for a lead, an opening, or a new opportunity. You may even take a wrong turn and wind up in the right place.

Two days ago I bought two pairs of shoes that were a tiny bit too big in the heel, but that were very close to shoes that I had been looking for in several different stores. I was rather at my wit's end to get this shoe problem solved (Do any of you resonate to this tendency to get an idea in your head and then push until you make it real? Especially in the case of the right shoe for the right purpose?!) So, the shoes were nearly right, and the enterprising young clerk sold me insoles which made them fit better. He suggested I have them glued in permanently under the inner part of the shoe.

When I took the insoles to my local shoe repair guy to have them glued, he looked at my new shoes with the disdain of a craftsman who only works in leather and who doesn't trust enterprising shoe sales people under the age of 50 (he grilled me about where I bought these shoes and who sold them to me.) He told me a whole long story about how these were not the right insoles and that I should take them back. Furthermore, he went on to outline the whole bleak outlook of the current state of the shoe industry according to his experienced eye. At the time, I was somewhat annoyed (but also amused) at his taking so long to tell me how disappointing and poorly made of synthetic materials my new shoes were, and how I needed to take the insoles back and get my money back. Okay, one more errand to do.

This morning I found the shoe store receipt and went to put it into my wallet so I could return the insoles next time I was near that shoe store. Well, Lo, and behold my wallet was not in my purse. I remembered that I had had it the night before when I showed my YMCA membership card at my yoga class. At 7:59 am, I jumped in the car, and raced over to the yoga center and found that my wallet had fallen out of my purse in the little storage units where we put our belongings. It was still there, twelve hours after it had fallen out of my purse! Now, if I had not been thinking about returning the insoles, and putting the receipt into my wallet, I might not have noticed the missing wallet until tomorrow! Chances are slim it would have still been there.

It's fascinating to me how even small movements of our minds and intuition help us stay on track. What gets in the way of following this intuitive guidance is tuning out of consciousness about what we are doing-through concentrating on anxieties and feeling overwhelmed, being very busy, or thinking about the next thing before we've finished the current thing. I should have noticed when I left the class that my purse felt too light-not having my bulky wallet in it. But last night I was upset by some things that had happened during the day, and was not being truly present with what I was doing-even after the wonderful yoga session, which did help calm me down. Now I realize I was not really paying attention to the world around me.

We are all going to get upset at things. It happens virtually everyday when you think about it. It's the nature of being human. If you aren't upset at this moment, you will be as soon as one of three things happens: 1) Your intention to do, be, or have something is thwarted; 2) You are not able to deliver a communication and have someone hear it or agree with it; or 3) You have an expectation that is not fulfilled.

When a breakdown occurs that upsets us, we experience it as a threat. Without consciously realizing it we go into an old, familiar survival. We immediately start to thrash around in a mix of favored emotions-blame, guilt, anger, shame, minimization, justification, feeling helpless, or resignation that this kind of thing always happens to us, and this just goes to prove how...

When we are threatened we feel a loss of power. Actually, when we are dealing with an upset it has already happened, which means that we are always dealing with upsets in the past. What we are upset about now is not actually about the present as much as it about how it is attached to upsets we've had in the past. Each upset is related to string of very old upsets. The next time you experience being upset, notice what you are doing and thinking about. How are you re-living upsets you had in the past? What kind of story are you telling yourself about the upset? Just notice how this story is a big piece of your life story. I never get listened to. No one pays attention to me. I always buy the wrong thing. I'm not supposed to succeed. I don't have what it takes, and this proves it once again. Life is scary. Etc. Etc.

Start to get clear about what the events are that are happening to you without your story explaining it. Just see what is happening. Resist the temptation to make it all about you (this is a hard one, isn't it?!) One man in a class reported that he always gets angry and upset when traffic gets in his way. The other night he took a wrong exit and had to go by city streets which normally would irritate him because he'd have to wait at stoplights at each block. He'd be losing time, and waiting at stoplights was something he took pains to avoid. It was important to him to feel that he knew how to take shortcuts and outsmart the system. For some reason, this time he realized he could unhook from that automatic response, and he actually drove to the class calmly and with a peaceful frame of mind. Now, if traffic is not one of your big issues, you might say, well, so what? What's the big deal that he had to wait for stoplights? But for him and his automatic way of being, it was a big deal to have more control over the kind of day he was going to have.

We each have our automatic responses to upsets and trigger points. Starting today why not have fun noticing yours? Start asking youself, Can I just give up this big need to be upset right now?

Have a great month!

Happy May,
Carol Adrienne