"How do I deal with a narcissistic co-worker?"Recently my position at my job has changed. I previously was the Director of the Recreation Department with a staff of 5. I have a new administrator who has hired a good friend to change the direction of the department overall.  So now I am just one of the staff.  Due to changes the staff within the department has changed as well. One co-worker is very difficult to deal with he is very narcissistic, arrogant and manipulative with everyone he encounters  It has not been easy to step down. Please give me advice, if you would, on how to deal with the situation. I live in {X State} and the job market is horrible! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Dear MK,

I can understand how you might feel having to step down, plus deal with this type of personality in your co-worker.  Without trying to do a complete analysis of your whole numerology chart, I'll say this:

Your birthday numbers (called Birthpath) add up to 19/1, which is one of the four karmic numbers.  The 19/1 occurs a second time as a lifetime Challenge number--so it begins to seem an important element in your journey.

Nineteen (reducing to 1) is the reminder that you have to learn to stand up for yourself when the occasion arises.  You may feel unconsciously that it's a little scary to "stick your neck out" because in a previous life you may, indeed, suffered dire consequences for being different, being out of synch with your milieu.  This lifetime is another opportunity to be courageous when tyring to get into alignment with circumstances that make you happy (which this doesn't sound like it's doing, at present.)  Psychologically, you might be projecting your own inner conflict on this guy (not that I doubt that he really is self-centered)  But that's just the kind of person who is a good teacher for us.  In this case, I'd advise becoming aware of how much you resent his narcissism--and how much you need to be a little more self-directed (not narcissistic, of course.)  What you complain about in him, is a projection of what you need to do a little more of in your own case.  This is kind of hard to talk about in a sterile email note here, so I am trusting that you will get the point, or email me if you think I'm crazy!

Numerologically, you are i a 3 year in 2009 with a 3 Essence. Both 3's are encouraging you to be creative with your time and self-expression.  Try focusing on things that give you energy, more than worrying about this situation.  Writing, crafting, listening to music, taking up a hobby all help you focus on YOU.

This man is a teacher for you at this time, so silently bless him whenever you are around him (I know this sounds crazy) for being such a generous person.  Do this for a week or two.  Let me know what happens.

"What can I do to change my luck?" 

I'm a soon to be 57-year- old woman.  I'm single and own my business with one of my daughters. I definitely need to do more for my future in terms of taking care of myself through older years. I'm stuck on opening door number one that shows me all of the potential problem sides of aging: being alone, no financial security, no health insurance, not a possible
chance of thinking RETIREMENT ever. 

Then there is door number two: which opens to potential relationship, travel, not over- working at a physically demanding job all of my days and having someone else to help with all of the responsibilities that I carry alone.  Since I'm living in the countryside, potential
for relationship change is dismal, and the physical demands on my time and
energy are extreme. I feel between a rock and a hard place.  What can I do to change my luck?

Dear SS 

It sounds like you have achieved some very important goals in establishing a business of your own with your daughter, so let's applaud you on that.  But it also sounds like you are worn out with the sheer effort of owning your own business.  I assume that door number 2 as you call it, is not yet a reality, because--as things stand-- you can see no way to stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, and smell the roses.

You are what we call an Old Soul (I seem to attract many emails from Old Souls these days) which means that your soul decided on some specific lessons this lifetime--which is definitely not an easy lifetime by the look of your numbers below (which is a numeric synopsis I use for these messages.)

From the age of 54 onwards, you are under the influence of 9 (Fourth Pinnacle) and 7 (Fourth Challenge.)  Somehow this situation that you have created for yourself (out in the country with little social life) is part of your life plan.  You have a 7 Destiny--the path of someone who develops strong intuition and completely self-reliant motivation.  My guess is that what may complicate things a little for you is a strong tendency to want to do things yourself so they are done the way you think they should be done.  This is so important to you that you may inadvertently cut off help from others without realizing it. Perhaps, you unconsciously feel a need to pay heed to an internal system of "rightness" that is quite taxing on your system.  You have that Karmic 19/1 day of birth which hints at past patterns in a previous lifetime, where you may have made a decision that cost you mightily--perhaps even your life.  Now you have no intention of letting others have control over you, or giving anyone a chance to find your vulnerability.

How to change your luck--or more to the point, how to find more happiness now--not waiting for door number two to open?

Be gentle on yourself. First, we always must become aware of how our beliefs and accepted view of reality limits us.  We listen for the amount of time spent lamenting our problems or in negative self-talk.  As an old soul, I know you understand this already, but it's always good to remind ourselves that Law of Attraction is always matching our resident frequency or vibration--our dominant "broadcast" to the world.

Focus on moments of happiness within the day. Your 9 Heart's Desire craves to feel accepted, useful, and to make a difference in the world (although you have little use for those you might call slackers.)  Your joy now comes from learning to stay in the moment, and keep in touch with where the energy is going. 

Start to simplify.  See where you might eliminate parts of your schedule or expenses that are non-essential. 

Notice how things go better when you are less tired. 

Ask for support and guidance before going to sleep each night. Notice the first thing(s) that comes to mind each morning.  With your strong 7's I think that you have a strong trust that everything will work out, especially during those times you have had a chance to rest and put your feet up, have a cup of tea with someone you love.  You need to take care of yourself NOW, not fret endlessly about the future, which is a waste of precious present energy.  Of course, you do what you can to make good choices that will have an impact on the future.  But each day must be its own reward.

I know this sounds easier said than done, but give it some thought.  What can you do today to make SMALL adjustments and get a little bit more peace of mind--and physical energy?

I have an intuition that you have been a person of some authority who was very successful through your own efforts or inventions in a past life--and that you achieved a lot.  You may unconsciously feel you are not living up to past potential, but this life is more about spiritual awareness learned through trying new things and being independent.

With deepest regard for your spiritual path,

Carol 

NUMERIC SYNOPSIS

DESTINY    7     The Expert, a path of acquiring knowledge and wisdom--requires quietude and nature; deeply intuitive

BIRTH PATH 1    Your natural characteristics are independent, candid, original, and courageous, especially on behalf of others,  

HEART'S DESIRE 9    Humanitarian.  Desire to do the right thing, be tolerant of others, to expand one's understanding of philosophy and spirituality.  To give without thought of reward.

HABIT CHALLENGE 6   Tendency to be over-responsibile, to over-do, to work without rest; to worry about things that may never come to pass.

FOURTH PINNACLE (age 54 to end of life)    9  Your Heart's Desire!  A time to deepen understanding of self and others; good fortune; up and down emotionally at times if life gets too chaotic, or there is little chance to recover energy.  Tendency to over-give if not careful. Lots of love available--wide range of friends and aquaintances.  Travel related to helping others or teaching perhaps in a foreign country.

FOURTH CHALLENGE (age 54 to end of life) 7  Your Destiny number!  Beginning to see how things fit together.  Enjoyment of freedom and solitude.  Great interest in spirituality, meditation, (yoga would be EXTREMELY helpful now--but start slow.)  

IR

"What can I do to earn a living and not be bored?" 

I have been married for 23 years and have five older children ages 11-20.
Recently my husband has been diagnosed with cancer that has spread to his lungs.

I have not really worked outside the home and our family since we have been married.
And I am not sure what I should do as a way to provide for our family.
I have written some, but nothing that has been published. I have an AA but that seems
useless. I have thought about learning transcription, and working from home. I have to plan to do something before I am forced to make a decision to take whatever I can find, work-wise.
By looking at my numbers is there anything that stands out that I might be able to do as a
career that will not bore me and also provide an income?

Thank you so much for any advice you may be able to offer to me.

Dear IR,

I am really sorry to hear of your husband's illness, and my sympathy is with you and your family. I have included below a special numerical synopsis of your Primary Life Chart to help answer your question.  As you can see your strongest traits are for being supportive, helpful, and inspirational to those who seek your advice.  Take heart in the fact that your first and middle names show the ability (both 1's) to take up things in which you have little experience and learn quickly.  Not only that, but your day of birth is 19/1--another emphasis on your life purpose being tied up with developing self-sufficiency when the need arises.  The 19 is a Karmic number which could mean that you and your husband have some karmic working out here--and that it's your turn to be strong.

You are an Old Soul with a good amount of intuition and inner wisdom when you are challenged to take command.  Don't be afraid of doing something for the first time, ask for help from others, and keep your sense of humor.  You actually do have a strong indicator showing a talent for writing (you may have been a writer in a previous life, but suffered from being a little bit too avant-garde or radical for your environment.  Thus, you carry an inner warning signal that may make you afraid to be criticized once again.  This is a lesson to learn and overcome.  You have strong tendencies for teaching and advising.  You may be happy in finding a place in a humanitarian organization where part of your duties are training, writing manuals or policies, and helping others overcome disabilities.  This type of work may be found in a non-profit, and you may not need an advanced degree.  This is my strong intuition for you at this time.  

After the age of 53, you begin to come into your own, and will have a fair amount of success and financial comfort--as long as you stick by your values, and work with the highest integrity.  I think writing will figure in whatever job you find, so don't worry about the burden of "writing a book!"

2009 is indeed a 4 Personal Year which means you feel the urge to plan, get organized, finish outstanding issues, and do whatever it takes to strengthen your foundation.  You are about to start a very exciting period which is initiated next month on your birthday and extends for a full five year period, ending in 2014.  Get ready to be more visible, take care of your appearance, and keep fit despite the strains on your emotions right now.

With warmest regards,

Carol 

First Name          1  Independent, self-directed, courageous
Middle Name         1  Independent, self-directed, courageous 
Last Name           9  Humanitarian
Destiny          11/2  Inspirer
Heart's Desire      2  Peacemaker
Personality         9  Humanitarian
Habit Challenge  16/7  Solitary/Skeptical
KARMIC LESSON(S)    8
Day of Birth     19/1  Perceptive and ethical
Birthpath        11/2  Inspirer
Realization      22/4  Master-Builder
Physically          3  Out-going energetic scattered
Mentally            3  Creative optimisitic easily-bored
Emotionally         7  Choosy, needs solitude
Spiritually         3  Psychic persuasive optimistic
FIRST PINNACLE (from Birth to age 34)       2
FIRST CHALLENGE (from Birth to age 34)      0
SECOND PINNACLE (from 35 to age 43)         1
SECOND CHALLENGE (from 35 to age 43)        8
THIRD PINNACLE (from 44 to age 52)          3
THIRD CHALLENGE (from 44 to age 52)         8
FOURTH PINNACLE (from 53 to end of life)    1
FOURTH CHALLENGE (from 53 to end of life)   8

Hello Carol, 

Quick question: I keep leaving/losing/misplacing things (power cords for computer and blackberry, scarf, wool wrap, are some examples)… I realize I’m busy/overloaded but I don’t believe it’s just coincidence/distraction.  I feel like it’s a lesson but I can’t figure out what I need to change/do differently. Any ideas? Would love your guidance on this because I’ve lost some things I love

Dear Lori,

First of all, losing small but necessary things could be a metaphor for losing parts of yourself--Lori is getting lost in the whirl, like a tumbleweed in the wind. 

However, don't underestimate the physical reality that you are "losing connections" with some parts of what you truly want out of life.  Don't try to figure it out--your losing things probably indicates that you have gone "unconscious" at those moments (believe me I do it, too!)  You are not present at that moment.  The pressures of immediate concern create a greater "trance" that has you  mesmerized.  The inner chatter probably sounds like, "Must hurry.  Must get this last thing done. Must not forget XYZ.  Gotta go.  I'm late.  They are waiting for me.  I've been dallying.  What's next?  What's next?," and so forth.

What to do?   Well, you must sincerely ask yourself this question.  "What is it that I need to do differently today?" "How can I change one small habit so that I can create breathing space at the beginning or ending of a "segment" of my hour, morning, afternoon, or evening. In fact, you only need to take perhaps 10- 30 seconds to become present to the moment.  One minute may seem fantastically long, when you are in a hurry and think you are behind schedule.  Try becoming more present in this way and just see what happens.  Whenever you do become present, I'll bet you'll find the need to take a deep breath!

Usually, our answers are far more mundane than we assume they must be--especially for those of us who love symbols and analysis!!

I love one of the statements which I think I heard from the great channel Abraham-Hicks--"You'll never get it done.  You'll never get it all done.  You'll never get it right."  You and I  WILL die with an unfinished to-do list somewhere in the vicinity of our deathbed! This is my morbid humor speaking, of course.

Carry on, you're doing beautifully,
Hugs,

Carol